If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, (36)________to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky. If you say to your children "I’’m sorry I got (37)________with you, but..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective; "I had a bad day" or "your (38)________was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be (39)________for his bad behavior instead of expecting an apology. Another method by which people appear to apologize without (40)________doing so is to say "I’’m sorry you’’re upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at (41)________for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done. Then there is the general, all (42)________apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was (43)________hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. (44)________________. But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. (45)________________. And that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’’s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, (46)________________.